Nostalgia and Home Videos
by HimekoUchia
Summary: When Gaara overhears Kankuro sobbing in his room over a simple home video, the redhead gets suspicious and very, very curious. Sand Family. Pre-chuunin.


**So I was feeling a little fluffy and in need of intense Kazekage and Gaara family father/son love. In a cannon setting. Somehow involving pre-chuunin Gaara (for those who follow me, you probably realize that I have an intense obsession with mean Gaara). I eventually came up with this.  
I don't own anything from the Naruto world. Just my intense love for the Sandsibs and co.**

* * *

Gaara knew that something strange was going on, one day, when he walked past his older brother's room. He usually completely ignored his family members' existences except when acknowledging them was absolutely necessary. However, when his sensitive ears picked up the sound of soft sobbing coming from Kankuro's room, he froze halfway through a step.  
The redhead's heart tightened a bit in panic. His thoughts quickly assessed the situation. Was Kankuro crying?

Frowning, Gaara took a step closer to his brother's bedroom door. His previous suspicions were confirmed when he heard his sibling sniff, then let out a noise that was halfway between a sob and a laugh.  
The boy quickly pulled himself away from his brother's door. He didn't care that Kankuro was weeping. He didn't even care whether or not Kankuro was alive, really.

Gaara hastily crossed his arms and started walking down the corridor again. It was just... Strange. He didn't know how to feel about this discovery, or if he was even supposed to feel anything. Despite not particularly liking his sibling, he had grown up with the older boy. Gaara _knew_ Kankuro. He could read his brother's emotions and could predict the boy's actions almost accurately.  
And Gaara knew that Kankuro practically never cried. The instances in which the boy ever shed a tear, in front of Gaara, at least, were of utmost rarity.

The last time the older boy had cried in front of Gaara was almost a year ago, during a mission when Kankuro had accidentally stepped on a kunai, puncturing his foot.  
Gaara had silently watched as his brother had screamed out a string of rude words. The redhead had held back his squeamishness at the sight of all the blood pouring out of the wound as it caused Shukaku to lurch in his mind. He had managed to extinguish the temptation because... Well, he couldn't exactly attack his teammate on a mission. A soothing and efficient Temari had quickly removed the blade and bandaged the foot. Though Kankuro had kept a stoic expression after his initial swearing, Gaara had noticed the tears that had managed to escape the older boy's eyes. Even then, it had been just a minor leakage that Kankuro had immediately covered up.

In other words, the fact that Gaara had just heard his brother sobbing in his room made the redhead feel very uncomfortable indeed.

The situation started getting out of hand very quickly.

Kankuro showed up to dinner with a grin and slightly red eyes. When Temari raised her eyebrow at his disheveled appearance, the puppet-master silently handed the girl a thin black case. Gaara watched the interaction with mild curiosity. When Kankuro sent him an almost imperceptible smile, however, he nearly jumped out of his seat.  
Not a scared smile. Not a nervous smile. Not a 'I-hate-you-but-I'm-smiling-because-I-just-don't-want-you-to-kill-me' smile.  
It was a genuine smile. And Gaara had not been on the receiving end of one of those for as long as he could remember.

The redhead rapidly inferred that this sudden change of behavior had something to do with the thin black case. He responded to Kankuro's smile with a cool look and averted his gaze.

A few days later, the scenario ominously repeated itself.  
Temari had come out of her bedroom, her eyes bloodshot, though she usually cried even less than Kankuro. A bittersweet smile was plastered onto her face as she noticed Gaara. The boy almost shifted uneasily under her gaze, but he quickly caught himself in the action. He steeled his expression and crossed his arms, holding his sister's gaze.  
"What do you want?" he asked, keeping his voice laced with his usual bored and monotonous tone.  
Temari blinked, as if she just remembered who she was talking to.  
"Um... Nothing! I'm good... It's nothing! Nothing you need to worry about."

Gaara eyed his sister as she quickly tried to retreat down the hallway and take the stairs into the kitchen. However, the redhead saw his sister's eyes widen as she looked at something beyond the turn in the corridor, which he couldn't see. However, he could sense him.  
The boy's blood immediately chilled as his father appeared in the hall, blocking Temari's escape route.

The man's icy gaze shifted from Temari's tear stained face to Gaara. His slightly surprised look turned suspicious as he examined his youngest son.  
The redhead's skin crawled in indignation at that look. That disappointed look. That accusing look. Well, he had nothing to do with Temari's condition. He didn't make her cry. He didn't do anything. It wasn't his fault that his siblings were being weakhearted losers. Why did the Kazekage always, always look at him like that whenever someone even mentioned a problem?

Gaara was freed from the mental torment the second his father pulled his sharp gaze off of him to return it to his sister. A slight sigh escaped the man's lips.  
"Temari... What happened?" asked the Kazekage, his gaze softening slightly into a frown as he observed his daughter's face. The girl laughed nervously, plastering the fake smile she always used on Gaara to calm him down.  
"Nostalgia." she muttered. "Kankuro gave me this..."

Temari quickly ran back into her room to emerge a few seconds later with the black case. Gaara's eyes narrowed, his suspicions confirmed.  
"I have vague memories of it. You probably remember when it happened." She smiled up at her father, who returned the expression, albeit with a little more confusion. The girl's gaze drifted one last time over to where her brother was standing before handing the object to her father. "It's kinda sad to look back now, but... It's sweet. Occasional nostalgia is healthy, right? It helps you figure out what you are missing in your life."

The Kazekage flipped the case in his hand. His expression suddenly crumbled. The man rapidly darted his gaze to Gaara, who took a cautious step back. This was very uncharacteristic of his father. What did this man want this time?  
"I remember these. Your mother left at least a dozen of them in the storage rooms." finally grumbled the Kazekage. Gaara's back tensed at the mention of the woman he killed with his birth. He suddenly wished that he had teleported away before this conversation even started. "If you two are interested, you can go digging around for them. Your mother had an enthusiastic passion for filming her family members."

Film. A CD case. Gaara frowned. His siblings cried over a measly home video? How stupid.  
Temari shook her head.  
"This one isn't mother's, Gaara is in it. Kankuro found it when he was digging around the third floor cabinet looking for spare puppet parts. Watch it. It's..." Temari tilted her head to the side, rubbing her cheek with the back of her hand. "It's nice. That's really the only word that comes to mind."

The Kazekage shrugged.  
"I'll do it when I find the time. You have made me curious now." He huffed and tucked the case into his sleeve. He continued walking down the hall, patting his daughter on the shoulder when he walked past her. When he reached his son however, his gaze darkened visibly and Gaara flinched a little, unable to help the terror and slight jealousy that washed through him. He wasn't shocked, though, since Temari had value, unlike him. Anger, hate, fear, longing and a plethora of other feelings welled up inside his chest. The demon in his mind added on with a sharp painful throb through his brain, though the redhead forced himself to ignore it. He didn't want to show frailty in front of this man.  
"And Gaara." His tone of voice was noticeably less warm than it had been when he had addressed Temari. The jinchuuriki silently gulped. "Has your control improved since our last training session?"

Gaara nodded slowly. His eyes burned as he held his father's gaze and he ached to just look away, but he refused to let the Kazekage win this one. Not that anyone had declared a war of any sort. The battle was all in the redhead's young, frustrated mind.  
"Good. You now have almost perfect control over the sand. Keep training." he ordered calmly. Gaara nodded again.

The Kazekage disappeared. Temari, realizing that the atmosphere in the corridor had gone creepily tense, quickly walked down the hallway and turned to take the staircase. Gaara stood still for a few more seconds, quietly observing as his sister retreated.  
With a last glare, he teleported into his room, trying to understand what could possibly be in the video footage that had reduced his siblings to tears.

A few days later, it was very obvious to Gaara that his father had watched the video. Thankfully for his sanity, the man had not cried. The redhead wasn't sure that he would emotionally be able to cope with seeing his father cry. Even if he did hate his father and the thought of the man being miserable was infinitely amusing, the idea of seeing the man cry was terrifying for the boy. Like all children, he had been raised to see his parent as a tough, powerful figure. Since his father was the Kazekage, this illusion was a reality. Gaara hated the man who partially created him, but the redhead also believed in him more than he believed in anyone else. The man was strong. Strong enough to control him. This was one of the few certainties in Gaara's life, along with his ideology that fighting for yourself made you stronger.

So, if he were to ever witness his father weeping, it would probably shatter his vision of the world. It would hurt him, because the Kazekage would be betraying Gaara's unspoken trust. Gaara trusted his father to be a rock in all situations. That stability was one of the few things that the boy had to hold on to as he was growing up.

There was something else, though, and this idea was the one that the redhead had the hardest admitting to himself. It was the thought that, if his father were to cry, that meant that his father was weak. Human. Soft. Moveable.  
If his father could cry of a trivial video, but could set countless assassins after Gaara without batting an eyelash, what did that say about the redhead's importance?

Gaara shook the thoughts out of his head. None of it mattered, because the Kazekage didn't cry when he watched the video. However, he had strolled into the living room where Gaara was seated, a mellow smile pulling at the wrinkles on his aging face.  
Seeing that expression directed at him, the jinchuuriki had nearly thrown every piece of furniture in the room at the man and wanted to bury his face in the sofa pillows. He hadn't, of course, because he had control. So the boy just sat on the couch, stunned. But the turmoil of emotion was brewing, contained.

"Gaara. Your sister was right. Nostalgia can be enlightening. It brings back an old glimmer of hope... That has since faded." said the Kazekage cryptically, using a tone of voice that wasn't exactly the one he used with Temari or Kankuro, but close. He slowly walked over to where Gaara was sitting and placed the black CD case on the coffee table in front of him. "When you're alone, you should watch this. You could not possibly remember any of it but... It could be good for you to know a little more. It could help you understand that... you can still change. Because people change all the time, for better or for worse. But really, the video is just..." The Kazekage sighed and ran a hand through his short auburn hair. "I don't know what you will think of it. But since your siblings and I have all seen it, I think it's only fair that you do too. Just don't break anything."

Gaara nodded slowly, trying to reign in the agonizing stabbing feeling he was getting in his chest.  
"Understood." he replied curtly. "I won't."  
The Kazekage nodded and left the room, not giving his son another look. Gaara felt the tension leave his joints when his father was no longer around. Grumbling to himself, he quickly stood up and turned on the television.

He picked up the mysterious black case and, after a second of hesitation, he clicked it open and took out a simply disk with no writing on it. He popped it into the player and waited.

The video flickered on.

Gaara's voice hitched when he recognized the face grinning back at him.

Yashamaru.

His heart flipped over in panic and he resisted the urge to throw his sand at the TV. Deciding that it was pathetic to destroy an inanimate object and that his father was scary, Gaara sat in silence, watching, as his uncle starting walking through a familiar corridor, talking.

_OK, there is something that I wanted to show you, whoever is watching. I am not one to go around making home videos. My sister was. But this is just too cute!_

Gaara frowned. The large, happy smile on his late-uncle's face was just so familiar to him. It hurt to think that it was never genuinely directed at him. He continued listening to the man, suspicious of what this video could really be about.

_I will have to explain the context. _

Yashamaru turned the camera back to his own face but kept walking through the corridors of the Kazekage's mansion.

_Last night, there was a sand storm. Horrible. Sunagakure had to bunker down for the night. From what I heard this morning, there have been three people wounded but no deaths, which, compared to last time a storm hit, is a relief. So..._

Yashamaru smirked at the camera and placed a finger to his lips. The camera turned away from the man and towards a set of doors that Gaara recognized as his father's sleeping chambers. Two ANBU were stationed in front of the doors, meaning that the Kazekage was sleeping. Yashamaru ushered them to the side and they complied, having recognized the blond as the Kazekage's right hand man, chief medical ANBU and brother-in-law.

Gaara watched as his uncle slowly crept into his father's room, which was illuminated by the morning sun. On his father's bed, he could see a few human shaped blobs under the covers. The boy frowned in confusion. Who was sharing his father's bed? A woman? Gaara frowned. He did not want to see this, if this was what he thought it was.

Yashamaru's voice came back, this time as a quiet whisper that could still be picked up by the video camera.

_Gaara started crying last night. He must have been very scared and his screams were so loud. I went to check on him but by the time I had arrived in his nursery, he was gone. And guess where I found him?  
_  
Yashamaru slowly peeled back the blanket that was covering the Kazekage to reveal the sleeping village leader's form, which was curled around a small, redheaded infant's. Gaara's heart dipped as he recognized himself in his father's embrace. He slowly pressed a shaking hand to his lips, having trouble comprehending what he was seeing. The boy glued his eyes to the screen.

A muscled arm was draped protectively over Gaara's body and the other limb was stretched over his pillow so that he could clasp the fingers of a young, sleeping Temari, who was in turn hugging a little snoring Kankuro.

_The Kazekage has his rare moments of tenderness. Despite being such a busy man, my brother-in-law does try very hard to be a loving father when he can. It seems that his children agree, since Temari and Kankuro both found their way to their daddy's bed by themselves._

Yashamaru turned the camera briefly back to his face so that it captured his soft grin.

_Sometimes I wonder if that man even needs my help. He seems to manage fine!_

Suddenly, the blond man's smile widened and he quickly darted the camera back to the bed, walking closer to it. The little Gaara had turned to face his uncle with happy green eyes. The child extended his hand to the camera and starting gurgling half formed words.

_Maru! Maru!_

A hand extended from off the screen to hold the little boy's outstretched, tiny hand and Yashamaru's voice started cooing.

_Good morning, Gaara!_

The Kazekage cracked open an eye and looked at the camera with annoyance.

_How long do I have to pretend to be asleep?_

Yashamaru's reply was a soft laugh and a quick pat to his brother-in-law's shoulder.

_It's fine now! I already filmed everything!_

The Kazekage arched an eyebrow at the camera.

_Yes. You were too slow last night and I beat you to the crying Gaara. We were joined shortly by two other little monsters. And now you sneak into my room to film me sleeping with my children. Has anyone told you that you are quite creepy, Yashamaru?_

Yashamaru's soft laugh sounded behind the camera. On screen, Gaara was curiously darting his eyes between the two adult men, trying to understand what they were saying. A large, innocent, dumb smile was plastered onto his baby face.  
Yashamaru answered his Kazekage's question.

_Yes I think that both you and Karura have said something along those lines. But you will thank me one day! Wouldn't it make you happy to find this tape in ten years and to be able to show it to your children? They will see how sweet their uptight father could be!_

The Kazekage rolled his eyes and, giving the camera a smirk, he nuzzled his face into his son's red hair and pecked a soft kiss onto the baby's cheeks. Gaara squealed gleefully and suddenly poked his father in the nose. A bit of sand landed onto the Kazekage's face, but the man simply brushed it off, not seeming to mind. The entire room fell silent as the boy struggled to talk.

_… Da... Daddy!_

The baby smiled proudly at his well formed word and watched his father with hopeful eyes. The man chuckled softly and touched his nose to his son's nose. As the man started cooing soft words to the little boy, the older boy watching the video felt his heart being wrenched out of his chest.  
What was this? How was this possible? This was... This was... His past? Before he could remember? Before Shukaku started tormenting his mind? And why had his father wanted him to watch this? It was probably some form of torture, to punish him.

_Gaara! You can already talk? Look how smart my son is. Oh, you are so smart! So cute, aren't you, Gaara? Your mother would have been all over you._

The Kazekage glanced down at his son, comically widening his eyes in an awkward effort to make the baby giggle. Gaara responded by pulling on his father's cheek skin with his tiny fingers, making loud noises.  
_  
Gna! Gna! Daddy!_

The Kazekage pressed a kiss to his son's cheek again.  
_  
I got the message. I'm not funny. Hm... Love you Baby. Now, we should wake your siblings. It's time to get up.  
_  
On cue, the little redhead turned in his father's embrace and started prodding his sleeping sister in the back.

_Up! Up!_

Temari groaned and let go of her father and brother's hands, rubbing her eyes. She glanced down at her bubbly brother and gave a smile.

_Good morning Gaara._

_Goo' monin' Mari!_

Gaara sat up in the bed and started smacking his brother with fat, baby hands. In the background, Yashamaru's quiet laugh could be heard again.

_Kuro! Kuro! Up! Kuro!_

Kankuro gave a little grunt and rolled to the side. Unfortunately, since he was closest to the side, he fell off the bed.

Yashamaru gasped and the camera shook as the man helped his dazed nephew back into the bed. Kankuro rubbed his sleepy eyes and glanced around. Temari was laughing like any other sadistic older sibling and the Kazekage was checking his son's head for bumps. Gaara gasped loudly, mimicking his uncle.

_Uh oh! Kuro boom!_

At this, Yashamaru and the Kazekage laughed out loud and Temari joined in. Kankuro huffed in annoyance and started sulking.

_That's not funny! It hurt!_

At his brother's sad expression, little Gaara suddenly started shoving his father in the arm.  
_  
No! No! No! Kuro sad! NO!  
_  
Everyone quieted down and the Kazekage poked his baby in the cheek.

_Kankuro. We're not laughing at you getting hurt. We're laughing because your brother is cute.  
_  
At this, the little brunet boy frowned and stared at his little brother. Then, he sighed and smiled.

_He's so cute. And he's smart because he knows that I am the best. Hey, Gaara, am I the best brother in the world? Yeah!_

At his brother's happy tone of voice, Gaara immediately grinned, revealing a mouth filled with baby teeth. He enthusiastically imitated his brother.

_Yeah! Yeah!_

At this, everyone in the room chuckled except for Gaara, who just smiled innocently.

_Oh, the camera is running out of battery! Say bye everyone! Bye!_

The three children waved at the camera. Without warning, the Kazekage grabbed Yashamaru's arm and there was a shuffled as the camera was moved.

When the image stilled, it was obvious that the Kazekage, now standing beside the bed, had wrestled the camera out of his brother-in-law's hand and had pushed the blond man onto the bed.

_Temari! Kankuro! Get your uncle!_

The two children laughed and start wiggling their fingers into their uncle's sides, making the man chuckle and jerk on the bed. Gaara joined in too, not really understanding what was happening.  
The Kazekage laughed.

_Pay back!_

Yashamaru quickly grabbed Gaara and Temari and pulled them into his chest, causing the two toddlers to squeal.

_I have kidnapped Temari and Gaara! What will you do, lord Kazekage?_

The man behind the camera gasped with fake horror.

_Oh no! What should we do, Kankuro?_

The little brunet stood up on the bed and jumped at his uncle.

_I'll save them! Don't-..._

The screen went black as the camera ran out of battery.

The living room was empty apart from lingering tension and a tell-tale lump of sand on the floor, left behind by a certain redhead who had vacated the premises very quickly. The television soon went into power saving mode until the Kazekage reentered the room to switch off the appliance with a shake of his head.  
As for Gaara, he spent the next few hours unsuccessfully treating his gaping wound of the heart in solitude. When he reemerged from his chamber, his usual cold mask was plastered onto his face.

He quietly sat at the dinner table, concious that three people were staring at him with wary eyes, searching for a change.  
Gaara didn't meet any of their gazes except to send them furious, uncomfortable glares, and, understanding the implication of such a look, no one spoke of Yashamaru's home video for many years to come.

The next time anyone brought up Yashamaru's home video, years had passed and Gaara could then discuss the events shown on camera without feeling a horrid pain in his chest. This time, when seeing the smiles on his uncle and father's faces, he knew with certainty that they had been genuinely and lovingly directed at him and that, after many years of struggling, he could now confidentially believe that he deserved those smiles. Gaara had worked hard to earn them and hoped... no, knew, that his parents and uncle would be proud of him, if they saw him now.

* * *

**I wanted to have a happy, Sand family moment with Yashamaru. I hope they have had a few before everything went to hell. I do have a thing insanely fluffy kid!SandSibs and the Kazekage who I am just so fascinated by. Honestly, his life sucked too. Not as bad as Gaara's, I think, but close.  
So, I hope you enjoyed it (you have been asking for it).  
Peace, love and gross sobbing because I have so much homework and so many exams but I'm on my last day of holiday and I want to enjoy it,  
~~~ XOXO HimekoUchia (I am working on that Suna-centric horror story where basically the Sandsibs and all the citizens of Suna starts to realize that everyone around them is acting strange and everything seems... unreal and almost too perfect? and, of course, that GaaraXOC shounen-ai thing that I'm always brainstorming and writing up notes for because it's adorable and I like inventing recurring OCs (Reina and Yuudai will be in both stories! Who missed them?))**


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